


Two Loves

by Corvidology



Series: I Always Come When you Call [11]
Category: The Alienist (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, M/M, Pining, Self-Reflection, s01e09: Requiem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-04 23:46:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14031489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvidology/pseuds/Corvidology
Summary: Written right after s01e09: Requiem was broadcast on TNT for the first time, as an immediate reaction to the episode.





	Two Loves

I rarely second-guessed myself. John called it a lack of humility but I was confident in my abilities.

 

Yet as I stared into Mary's grave, grief and self-reproach sunk me as deep. 

John wanted to pursue the case despite my morass of guilt but I couldn't. I've delivered him even more certainly into Sara Howard's gravitational pull but he's safer away from me. 

 

Instead, I drink myself senseless and don't answer my door to John even though I want nothing more than to find solace in his arms. 

 

I've buried one love. I will not bury my John as well.


End file.
